Gods of Egypt

Movie Review Written By: Adolph Vega

3D Review Written By: Christin Richard

3D

It became apparent within the opening scenes of Gods of Egypt that this movie was not filmed or directed in a style conducive of 3D technology. The 3D adaptation of this production was further hampered by the poor lighting of action scenes, the low quality effects that might be created by most any CGI studio, and the frequent hazy focus in the stereoscopic transfer. There were no moments that 3D was utilized for “wow, awesome” moments within the storyline. – No
pop-outs. No deep background effects. – Many times it appeared to look like cardboard cutouts moving over layers of background, and the dimensional contributions offered little more than to make the movie marketable in an industry full of third dimensional competition.

The 3D was barely adequate, and lent little to the movie overall. It would have been just as enjoyable without the added dimensional effects, which were a complete, retrofitted afterthought. That being said, there were plenty of opportunities for the cinematography to have better utilized 3D in a movie that tried so much to brand itself into the minds of viewers. An immediate example would be Ra's domain over the Earth and under the stars, which might have captured the infinite depth of space, order and chaos in a most profound way.

Rather, the movie missed such opportunities, filming what was a near fatal attempt to implement 3D as a reconsideration, and while the 3D doesn't necessarily take anything away from the events within the storyline, it certainly adds little to the content of the movie overall. 3Dor2D's basis for grade selection allows for either: Great, Good or Terrible, and absent of the 3D effects being good, this movie must be assigned the lowest score.

Final Verdict: Terrible 3D, Watch in 2D

The Movie:

This is possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and is a total failure of filmmaking. This movie is centered on the Egyptian god Set who usurps the crown to become the new king of Egypt. A love struck human named Bek decides to join the god Horus to take Egypt back from Set. The story of Gods and Kings is over stuffed with too many characters and not enough explanation.

The music within the movie is loud, pompous and completely forgettable. One character especially has a strange voice that negatively affected the movie. The dialogue the character gives is a critical element of the story and I couldn't understand it. This audio issue caused an exciting scene to fall flat because the sound editors where more focused on having a "cool sounding" character than having a character that the audience can clearly understand. Moving on to the visual special effects, they are extravagant and captivating but look totally artificial. Obviously a movie set in such a fantastical setting needs to use special effects to bring that world alive, but the special effects shown within this movie are way over done. The special effects are so obvious that it takes you out of the movie. The movie seems to be more focused on showcasing a fabulous grandiose spectacle than being a well-made movie. This movie is not at all interested in developing the characters, or giving the viewer context to the elements of the story. A few throw away lines of dialogue is not enough information for the viewer to understand what is going on within this excessively eccentric adventure.

I am not familiar with the mythology of ancient Egypt; unfortunately this movie assumes the viewer has expansive knowledge of these characters and their attributes. I don't need a movie to spoon feed me information, but it shouldn't assume a general audience is aware of mythology from thousands of years ago that hasn't become part of the popular culture. Too many elements of the story and characters are left without any explanation to the viewer. I have no problem with a movie set in a fantastical setting or characters having amazing powers, but the movie totally forgets to clearly set guidelines to what each god can and cannot do. After watching this movie I have no clue to what is possible or what isn't possible within this world, it's a total narrative mess. This aspect is critically important because it makes the storyline difficult to follow and understand or care. The majority of the main characters are gods but these gods are mortal and can die. It's very confusing to why some characters are killed off while others are allowed to stay alive. The aspects of the afterlife are convoluted and not properly explained. Death is a key element of the movie and it's shrugged aside like its nothing. Most of the characters on screen are gods except for a few token human characters. Bek is the main human character within the movie and his motivation is based on love. Bek has no special characteristics or abilities yet he can outwit and stand toe-to-toe with the gods. This aspect of Bek makes no sense at all and is frustrating that this element is not further explored . I found Bek's total lack of respect to the gods to be annoying and strange. With Bek being the main human character of the movie the viewer is supposed to relate to him but I I found him to be annoying. Sadly I have issues with almost every character within the movie. All the characters are one-dimensional and have no depth whatever. The only character I found interesting was Thoth who is the God of knowledge and writing. This character is fun and actually the only enjoyable character within the movie. The racial element of this cast is totally off considering that it takes place in Egypt. The main protagonist Horus is totally unlikable and tedious to watch on screen. Horus is a jerk and I didn't care if he succeeded in his quest. A more capable actor could portray this character with some charm, but the actor's pathetic delivery made it difficult to watch on screen. Sadly all the acting performances within the movie are poorly executed and are corny in execution. Countless lines of dialogue within the movie are poorly written and laughable in delivery. I was constantly rolling my eyes in disgust throughout this movie, because of the terrible acting and awful writing. The movie does offer a few jokes but most of which are groan inducing, idiotic and juvenile.

The movie is more focused on extreme action and huge set pieces than making a story that makes sense. Sadly most of those action scenes are all shot with bad camera positions that often ruin the action scenes. Most of the action scenes end in a unsatisfactory stereotypical fashion.

At times the story resembles elements of a video game. Specifically the Legend of Zelda or Final Fantasy franchises because the main character must travel to distant lands, enter dangerous temples, use special items, defeat bosses, gain team members and solve puzzles to advance the plot. I love video games and especially enjoy both The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy video game franchises but to see a movie blatantly use those video game tropes on screen just seems off and doesn't work within the context of this movie.

I lost count on how many plot holes and unexplained or under explained story elements were present within this movie. The movie is also incredibly predicable and cliché. Every single action movie trope is featured within this movie and it grows tiresome. This movie is guilty of my biggest pet peeve, which is being too convenient. Scene after scene things happen within this movie that are so conveniently executed to advance the story and seem incredibly far-fetched and ridiculous.

In conclusion Gods of Egypt is so awful that I decided to make up a new word to better describe this movie: Terrificatastrophe. Gods of Egypt is one of the most epic failures of cinema. This movie is the hottest mess of a movie that I have seen in 20 years. The story, characters, and action scenes are all terrible. It's fun to watch this massive train wreck of a movie, but I completely and utterly do not recommend anyone watching this truly Terrificatastrophe movie unless your are heavy intoxicated or watching it ironically. Gods of Egypt sets the new standard for poorly made movies and is a disappointment at every single level.

Final Score: 1 / 10

Gods of Egypt official website

Listen to my audio podcast review of Gods of Egypt by clicking here